Rock, Paper, Scissors: The Fall of the Original Six (2006)

2006 was a big year.  I was in high school.  I was right in the middle of it, in fact.  I was working at a hotel as well.  2006 marked the launch of Twitter.  Italy won the world cup.  North Korea conducted a nuclear test.  But the biggest thing came out of Canada.  In 2006, Rock, Paper, Scissors: The Fall of the Original Six was created.

Rock, Paper, Scissors: The Fall of the Original Six is a movie made by Sean Bruce and some of his friends on an extremely small budget.  It is about a group of spies who may have turned against their country, but also may not have.  There is action, there is drinking, there are women.  This movie has it all.  Except for a lot of things.

First thing is first.  This movie looks like it has the budget that it has.  The camera work is interesting, but the look of the film looks like someone picked up their neighbor’s camera and decided to make a movie.  It doesn’t take too much away from the movie, but the quality of the look takes a little bit to get used to.

One of the strangest things about the movie was Sean Bruce as an actor.  I liked most of what he did as the character of, well, Sean Bruce.  The only time I had a problem with his acting was when he lost the mustache.  It was like two different actors.  The mustachioed actor was fun, and fit the role well.  Without the bushy, fake mustache, something was lost.  It felt off.

Another good performance, in my opinion, came from Dan Kildey, who perfectly embodied the character of, you guessed it, Dan Kildey.  (Lots of commas in that sentence.)  He brought energy, and a depth to a character who wasn’t all that deep.  Kildane was the most fun in the movie outside of Bruce’s Canadian accent.

The plot it okay.  There is the basic story concept, and if it ever loses steam, an action scene is thrown in.  The action might not look great, but it’s damn entertaining.  And it’s as Canadian as Canada, so you have to like that.

I would be remised if I didn’t mention the puppet sex scene in the movie.  If you watch this movie in parts on Youtube like I did, you will know that it is coming.  The parts open with a disclaimer about the violence and gore, and a scene of puppet porno.  I have to say, that was one of the most disturbing things I have ever seen.  If you want to see the movie, but don’t want to see this puppet atrocity, you’ll be fine.  It’s at the end of the credits.  Watching a puppet do what it did, with the voice of someone whose voice you have grown familiar with...that’s something you never want to experience.

I know I haven’t said all that much about the movie.  This is one where you have to see it to understand.  I’d put it like that.  Or you can listen to the No-Budget Nightmares podcast episode where they cover it.  That’s how I found out about it.  Either way, it’s a fun movie, albeit not the most well made.  That’s what I got out of going super low budget on this one.

There are some notes I would like to leave on:

• If you have a suggestion for a movie that should be covered on the Sunday "Bad" Movie posts, you can leave a comment or tell me on Twitter.