The five year anniversary of the Sunday “Bad” Movies is
quickly approaching at the beginning of December. It has been five years since I started this
blog series as a way to write out my thoughts about the bad movies that I
continuously watch. By the time that
anniversary comes around, I will have seen over 300 movies for these
posts. That’s a lot of time that I’ve
put into these. I’m about to put even
more into them with this five-part miniseries.
You might be thinking to yourself “This isn’t Sunday! What’s with this post?” As part of the lead up to the fifth
anniversary, I decided that instead of writing a bonus post for the anniversary
(I’m sure I’ll still have something for you that day), I would take a look back
at my ten favourite movies from each of the five years. These aren’t the ten worst movies. They aren’t the ten best movies. They’re not the ones that I think best
represent the Sunday “Bad” Movies. These
are my favourite ten movies from every year.
The movies I liked the most.
Seeing as this is the first post, this will be about the
first year of the Sunday “Bad” Movies.
I’ll be covering the movies I covered from the first week (Starcrash) up until week 52 (Evil Bong). There were 59 movies in total, and this post
will only be discussing ten of them.
I’ll talk about why I like the movies.
I’ll talk about who suggested them, if they were suggested. If they weren’t suggested, I’ll go over how
they ended up included. There will be a
good one-sided discussion for each of the ten movies. We’ll begin at the bottom of the list and
move up to the top movie.
The Marine was a
franchise that I had come to know in high school. One of my friends was obsessed with the first
movie in the franchise. He was a huge
fan of wrestling, and John Cena was one of his favourite people. It’s not a good movie, but to each his own, I
guess. I like Paul Blart: Mall Cop way more than most. I can’t be one to judge. The first was the only theatrical movie in The Marine franchise, and possibly the
worst of them all. When the franchise
went to video, the quality improved.
The Marine 3:
Homefront was where the franchise truly found what it was. Mike Mizanin was brought in to star as Jake
Carter. He was a hot-headed marine on
leave. His sister was taken hostage by a
band of thieves and he fought to get her back.
It had all of the things I could have wanted from the franchise. There was solid action. The Miz was a decent enough star, bringing
both the small amount of charisma he needed and the action believability
required for the role. The supporting
cast was also solid. Neal McDonough was
a fun bad guy. Ashley Bell did well as
Jake’s sister, Lily. Michael Ecklund and
Ben Cotton showed up to give it that Canadian video feel.
It wasn’t the best of The
Marine movies (that would be The
Marine 5: Battleground), but it brought Mike Mizanin into the franchise,
and that’s what matters. That guy was
the perfect choice to lead it into the future.
Though John Cena has done some good film work since, The Marine is one of his weaker
outings. Ted DiBiase Jr. headlined the
second one, and, well, he could have been anyone. Mike Mizanin is the franchise to me, and this
is the movie that brought him in.
Michael Myers has an interesting history throughout his
franchise. He began as a simple mental
institution patient who got out and began killing babysitters. There was nothing more to him than that. He was just a killer. That’s what made the first Halloween so chilling. He was a guy killing people, with no real
reason to it. Every sequel would change
that.
The sixth Halloween
movie was the height of the Michael Myers lore insanity. Michael Myers was now the product of a cult
and needed a baby to pass on some sort of evil or something. It was a crazy story muddled by the various
versions of the final product. The
slasher elements were still fun slasher elements. The franchise had just gotten so full of
mythology at that point that it went completely off the rails.
There’s still a bunch to like about it. As crazy as the movie is, it’s fun to watch
the insanity unfold. Paul Rudd was in
it, for some reason, as a grown up version of Tommy Doyle. He was the kid that Laurie babysat in the first
movie. Donald Pleasance was going full
Loomis, doing lunatic things in a lunatic role.
Everything had to tie into Michael Myers, and it did. Nowhere near the best of the Halloween franchise, but still a damn
fun one to watch.
Halloween 6 was
included in the first October of the Sunday “Bad” Movies, as the Halloween
movie. It wasn’t suggested. I just felt like tossing it in because it was
always seen as one of the worst Halloween
movies. I still have a good time with
it, and that’s all that matters, really.
8. The Marine 2
Now, I see what you’re probably thinking. I wrote so much about The Marine 3: Homefront. How
was that not my favourite of the three I watched for week 30? That one had everything I wanted. A lead that could handle being the lead. Good action. An excellent supporting cast. How could this one top that in my list? Let me tell you.
Coming off of The
Marine, I wasn’t expecting much out of the sequel. The first one wanted to be an action comedy
but didn’t know how to blend the two genres into something that felt
right. Everything seemed a little
off. The first sequel stripped away the
comedy and turned it into a straight action movie. It improved the franchise by miles and paved
the way for everything that came after.
It wasn’t just expectations that made this one good. Despite the weakest lead actor of the
franchise in Ted DiBiase Jr., The Marine
2 was a great straight up action movie.
It took its cues from Die Hard,
and used that blueprint to the best of its direct-to-video abilities. The direction was great from Roel Reiné, the
director of Death Race 2 and Death Race: Inferno. Michael Rooker had a fun supporting
role. It’s just a solid movie with some
better action than The Marine 3:
Homefront.
Up to the point of watching this, I had never seen a Tyler
Perry directed movie. He had been in the
movie Alex Cross, which had already
been covered for the blog, but I had never seen anything he directed. In or out of Sunday “Bad” Movies, he was a
blindspot for me. I definitely chose the
right movie to begin with.
Temptation was an
overwrought drama about a woman cheating on her husband with a client from
work. It was so over the top in the
relationship drama that it was easy to enjoy how far things went. It was the ending that solidified this as one
of my favourites, though. There was a
final act twist that sent things to an insane level. It practically came out of nowhere to smack
the viewer over the head with the moral.
It’s still a shock that the ending is there.
Out of all of the movies that I’ve watched for the Sunday “Bad”
Movies, there are few that I have convinced other people to watch. Temptation:
Confessions of a Marriage Counselor is one such movie that I got someone to
watch. Friend of the blog and frequent
suggestor, @jaimeburchardt, watched it live with me on Twitter sometime after
my first watch. He ended up hating it,
but I still love it and I’m sure I’ll have a good time if I ever watch it
again.
6. Torque
The week before I saw Temptation:
Confessions of a Marriage Counselor, I watched a movie I was excited to
include in the Sunday “Bad” Movies.
Joseph Kahn’s kinetic style is something that I’ve been a fan of since I
first saw Torque. His follow-up, Detention, is one of my favourite horror films of the decade. This is about Torque though. It was a
movie meant to give the middle finger to the Fast and Furious culture of street racers. Even with the Fast and Furious franchise having shifted from the standard street
racing into a superhero style action franchise with cars, Torque still hits that anarchistic spot.
Torque might not
be an outright bad movie. It is highly
entertaining. The story isn’t bad. The thing is, there are so many weird beats
within it that you can’t help wondering why they were included. There’s a duel between two female bikers on
and with their bikes, while signs for Pepsi and Mountain Dew loom in the
background. Adam Scott gives one of the
wildest performances of his career.
Jaime Pressly got to go full villain.
There was a giant key. It was a
crazy movie that I will always find enjoyable.
The reasons I included Torque
in the Sunday “Bad” Movies were twofold.
One, I enjoy the movie and understand why so many people would find it
bad. It hits some high levels of
insanity in the action. That’s what I
love about Kahn. He’s not afraid to do
some extreme things, or to have a story that doesn’t make complete sense. It’s all about being entertained. Second, Josh Archer suggested it for the blog,
which gave me the push to include it so early on. If I could do things again, I would probably
hold this one off and put Movie 43 in
for week 43. Oh well. Moving on.
One of the greatest surprises that I ever encountered in the
Sunday “Bad” Movies was Hansel and Gretel
Get Baked. I went into the movie
expecting a cheesy, bad stoner movie that retold the story of Hansel and
Gretel. I got something better than
that. I got something I could look
fondly back upon as I moved forward through my many subsequent weeks of bad
movies.
Hansel and Gretel Get
Baked was the story of a brother and sister (played by that one guy from Twilight and the daughter from Castle) who get wrapped up in the
evil-doings of a marijuana growing witch.
Lara Flynn Boyle turned in one of the most entertaining performances
that has ever been included in the Sunday “Bad” Movies. She was clearly having so much fun with the
movie that it brought the entertainment up to a new level. Add that it didn’t turn the “Get Baked” part of it into a joke, and
you have a solid little horror movie with stoner aspects.
When I first saw the movie, I had a Live Tweet session with
my friends @jaimeburchardt and @erincandy. All of us were pleasantly surprised and walked
away having watched a better movie than anyone could have expected. It was one of the most fun experiences I’ve
had since beginning the Sunday “Bad” Movies.
4. Robot Jox
Many movies came out of the cold war era that pitted the
United States of America against the Soviet Union. Red
Dawn came out of that period. Rocky IV came out of that period. Robot
Jox came out of that period.
Robot Jox saw a
Market (American) fighter against a Feteration (Russion) fighter in a
competition where two giant robots beat the crap out of each other. These competitions were meant to settle
territory disputes. Achilles and
Alexander faced off in a dispute over Alaska.
Achilles ended up accidentally killing a bunch of spectators and spent
the rest of the movie trying to redeem himself after the tragedy.
The idea of Robot Jox
might seem farfetched. There was a heart
to it that pushed it into a better territory.
The robot fights were entertaining, especially with the direction of
Stuart Gordon. It was a solid way to
tackle the Cold War, as it tackled the issues of the American/Russian
relations. Plus, it’s a hell of a lot of
fun to watch the robots beat on each other.
Everything about Robot Jox
works.
3. Starcrash
It was the movie that kicked off the entire Sunday “Bad”
Movies journey. The first in a long line
of bad movies that would inspire the nearly 300 posts that I have written for
this blog. It was where the journey
began. Everything that has happened with
this writing has stemmed from the moment I first wrote about Starcrash.
There are many reasons that Starcrash was included in the Sunday “Bad” Movies. Most notably, it was an Italian knock-off of Star Wars, which was popular when it was
made. It took the basic concept of Star Wars, slightly changed a few
things, and churned out a new movie. Han
Solo was now a woman and the main character.
Princess Leia was now a prince played by David Hasselhoff. The Death Star was now a space station shaped
like a hand. There was a cowboy
robot. They went to a snow planet and a
prison planet. There was a lightsaber
and one of the good guys sacrificed himself to save the others. There were elements from Star Wars all over in the movie, yet it didn’t lose any of the
entertainment by being such a rip-off.
I’ve gone back to Starcrash
a couple times since first seeing it back in 2012 when I first started up the
Sunday “Bad” Movies. Each time has been
just as enjoyable as the last. What’s
more impressive is that Starcrash was
never for sure going to be the first movie I covered. I likely would have gotten to it at some
point, but the first week of the Sunday “Bad” Movies was a vote. Starcrash won the vote against two other
movies to become the first movie I watched for the blog. It definitely was the right choice and kicked
things off well.
2. The Room
Before I get deep into the movie and a quick summary of my
history with it, I want to highlight the one thing about The Room that I think is actually good. The music that gets used over the exterior
shots and scene transitions is not bad.
It’s good music that I might listen to if I was looking for some
instrumental stuff to put on. So,
there’s one good thing within this movie that many people consider to be one of
the worst ever made.
The Room is one of
my favourite bad movies. It was also one
that got the approval of @TheTalkingCan, since he suggested it for the
blog. I’ve seen it many times, mostly
through my university years almost a decade ago. There is no doubt that it is a bad
movie. Tommy Wiseau’s acting is
unmatched in terms of bad quality. The
script has a story arc but doesn’t know how to tell that story arc. There are story threads that come in and out
of the movie without any sense of introduction or closure. It kind of just happens in front of your eyes
and you’re stunned at what you’re seeing.
What puts this movie so high in terms of my favourites is
the heart that went into the making of it.
It’s part of the reason why so many people have grown attached to The Room. Though the filmmaking skill was extremely
poor, it is easy to see that Tommy Wiseau put his heart and soul on
screen. He wanted the movie to be so
good and failed miserably. Yet you feel
what he felt. You know there were good
intentions and they paved the way to Hell that is The Room. When a bad movie
has all the best intentions and fails them on every level, that’s a special
kind of bad movie. Those kinds of bad
movies are like seeing something beautiful in a car accident. That’s what makes this one special.
There are movies that get put into the schedule because I’ve
seen them before and know their reputation, or because people suggest them to me
because they’ve seen them before or know their reputation. Miami
Connection was not one of those movies.
I knew almost nothing about it outside of the name and that it had
recently been rediscovered. I scheduled
it. I watched it. I fell in love with it.
The movie was about five orphans in Orlando who were part of
a band named Dragon Sound. They played songs
about friendship and their favourite thing, taekwondo. The band came upon hard times when they were
targeted by the brother of one of their members’ girlfriend. He and the drug lord he worked with sent all
of their forces at Dragon Sound and the band had to work to take down the drug
ring that was infiltrating their city, Orlando.
Miami Connection
was similar to The Room in that the
heart of the movie poured through the screen.
It was easy to see that the people behind the movie cared about it and
wanted to make something entertaining.
Different than The Room,
however, was the quality. Miami Connection was better made. Sometimes there were pacing issues. Sometimes the dialogue stunk. Sometimes the movie had a five minute scene
of taekwondo practice. There was still a
lot of good within it. The Dragon Sound
songs were well produced and catchy. The
action was well choreographed and fun to watch.
It was an all-around entertaining movie that has since become a cult
classic. I love Miami Connection.
The first year of the Sunday “Bad” Movies was a fantastic
year with many movies that I will end up going back to at one point or
another. With this being a top 10, there
were many movies that didn’t get their mention.
There are posts for each of them throughout the Sunday “Bad” Movies. Check them out. Check out the posts for any of the movies
that I’ve covered. All the movies are
worth their fair due, since they’ve all taught me a little more about movies.
The fifth anniversary is coming up. I don’t see myself stopping the Sunday “Bad”
Movies anytime soon. There are many more
movies coming that will be learning experiences for me, you, and anyone who
watches them. Bad movies are just as
capable of teaching you about good filmmaking as great movies are. It all depends on how you look at them.
For now, I’ve got four more of these posts to get going
with. There are four more years of the
Sunday “Bad” Movies to cover, and each of them has their own top ten
movies. What will the movies be? You’ll have to check out my upcoming posts to
see. I’ll see you soon, as we prepare
ourselves for the fifth anniversary.
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