The second year of the Sunday “Bad” Movies began with a
bunch of Christmassy fun, as any year does.
That just happens when the anniversaries fall at the beginning of
December. It also kicked off with a post
about The Disaster Artist, a book by
Greg Sestero involving his friendship with Tommy Wiseau and the making of The Room. Look for my thoughts on the movie adaptation
of the book whenever I get to see the movie.
The year closed out with a post about the sequel to the movie that had
closed out the first year. It was
nostalgia for the first year that capped off the second.
I’m now about to go into my sixth year of Sunday “Bad” Movie
writing, and decided that I would take the time leading up to the fifth
anniversary to write about my ten favourite movies that I watched in each
year. This is the second post and I will
be covering the second year of movies.
Week 53, the first anniversary, was a rewatch of The Oogieloves in the Big Balloon Adventure, so I’m starting my top
10 eligibility at week 54, Jack Frost.
The year will end at week 104, Evil Bong 2: King Bong. There were 64 movies that I covered, so there
were a lot that didn’t make it to the top ten.
What did?
Troma has been a constant source of my bad movie watching
for a long time. Outside of the Sunday
“Bad” Movies, I’ve seen things like Honkey
Holocaust, Hectic Knife, and Sick Sock Monsters from Outer Space, all
of which the company distributed. Poultrygeist was one of the many movies
that they produced in house, and not the only Troma produced movie I’ve
seen. It was also one of the strangest
experiences I’ve had.
Poultrygeist: Night of
the Chicken Dead was a horror comedy musical. The story was about a man named Arby trying
to win back the heart of a woman named Wendy.
He worked at American Chicken Bunker (a KFC spoof), where the chicken
was coming back to life and attacking people in a zombie-like way. Throughout, the characters broke into songs
such as Slow Fast Food Love, Revenge is a Dish Best Served Fried, and Generous
General.
The Lloyd Kaufman tendencies hurt Poultrygeist a bit, making it too grotesque at points. He went even farther than I’m used to from
the other five movies I’ve seen him direct.
But what brought it back into the top 10 was the music. The singers weren’t great, but the songs were
catchy. They were fun to listen to. Slow Fast Food Love ended up becoming one of
my favourite musical songs of all time, and that’s with a reference to tossing
salad in the main chorus. Even with this
being as bad and off-putting as it is, I still have a place for it in my heart.
9. Gymkata
One rule that I have when choosing movies to put into the
Sunday “Bad” Movies is to automatically schedule any movies that get multiple
suggestions. If more than one person
suggests a movie, I’m going to watch it.
Gymkata was the first movie to
get suggested twice, once by @Mimekiller and once by @Movie_Doc. There’s a reason that both of them wanted to
suggest this one. It’s bonkers.
What was there that made Gymkata
special? For one, the name came from the
combination of gymnastics and martial arts.
The reason that gymnastics were an essential part of the film was that
the lead actor was an Olympic gymnast named Kurt Thomas. His character, John Cabot, was also an
Olympic gymnast. He was tasked with
participating in a competition in Parmistan where the winner gets a wish. The Special Intelligence Agency wanted him to
win and wish for a US satellite monitoring station to be built in the country. It was an insane story that had insane
action.
The action made the movie worth watching and brought it to
the level of this top ten. Between the
crazy fighting during Cabot’s training and the competition itself, Gymkata never lacked action. The most memorable part was the final
obstacle of the game, a village filled with hostiles. Everyone in the village tried to kill Cabot
and he had to get through with his life.
At one point, he found a pommel horse on the street and used it to kick
the various villagers that approached him.
Why was there a pommel horse just on the village streets? Who cares!
It’s Gymkata! One final little
note, the movie was name dropped in The
LEGO Batman Movie.
The Asylum has always been a big part of the Sunday “Bad”
Movies. The studio was one of the
biggest influences in my writing about bad movies. I had seen things like Battle of Los Angeles and Abraham
Lincoln vs. Zombies before starting the Sunday “Bad” Movies. Early on, I included 2-Headed Shark Attack. But
it’s The Coed and the Zombie Stoner
that has made one of my top ten lists.
Most of the Asylum movies that I had seen up to this point
were either mockbusters (movies that ripped off whatever was popular at the
time, Battle of Los Angeles ripping
off Battle: LA), or animal attack
movies. The Coed and the Zombie Stoner was the first of The Asylum’s
raunchy teen comedies that I saw. It had
a different method of entertainment delivery than the other Asylum movies, but
it still felt like Asylum. And that’s
with it not following the normal Asylum structure. It wasn’t based on anything else. It didn’t have a fading Hollywood star in a
major role. There wasn’t so much in
terms of action effects that could be used poorly. It was a different kind of Asylum movie that
still felt like Asylum without looking like it.
The Coed and the Zombie
Stoner was fun. It was nothing more
than that. Plain old fun. A college student becomes a zombie. A sorority girl falls in love with him. There’s a zombie outbreak. There’s a naked marathon. The evil sorority leader gets what’s coming
to her. It’s not a smart movie by any
stretch of the imagination, but it is fun.
That’s all that matters, and it makes sure that the fun counts.
The name alone seemed like something that needed to be
covered for the Sunday “Bad” Movies. It
took a religious figure and pitted him against monsters. What more do you need for a classic bad
movie? There was much more than those
two things that helped make Jesus Christ
Vampire Hunter one of the most memorable movies to ever grace the blog.
Jesus Christ Vampire
Hunter was suggested by @lyzetteg24, who I believe now goes by the Twitter
handle @filmslikedreamz. I could be
wrong though, and promoting a random person’s Twitter account. As soon as the movie was suggested, I knew it
would end up in the schedule. Boy, did I
get something great when I watched it.
Jesus was protecting the lesbians of Ottawa, Canada from vampires with
the help of El Santo, a Mexican wrestler.
He sang, he staked, and he got a haircut to fit in with the modern day
setting.
This was one of those movies that made an impression on me
as soon as I saw it. When I’m asked
about why I write the Sunday “Bad” Movies posts, Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter is one of the movies that comes to
mind. It took a ridiculous concept and
had fun with it. If a movie doesn’t have
the high quality equipment or professional crew of the mainstream movies that
people watch all the time, it better be fun.
The people making it better put out something entertaining that you
could watch with a bunch of friends to have a good time. Jesus
Christ Vampire Hunter fit that description.
It wasn’t the highest quality movie, but it was a ton of fun.
Friday the 13th
had gone through a lot as a franchise.
This was the ninth entry, and the first that broke from the standard
slasher formula. Instead of having Jason
Voorhees, his mother Pamela, or Roy Burns simply following teenagers and
killing them, Jason Goes to Hell
upended the franchise with some supernatural body-hopping hijinks.
I get where people might find this movie just plain
bad. It’s a Friday the 13th film.
It should be a slasher. Instead,
the movie goes deep into the lore of the Voorhees family in a way that none of
the others had. Sure, there was always
the connection between mother and son.
She sought revenge for his death, and he loved her after hers. The ninth installment of the franchise
brought in an unknown half-sister of Jason, as well as her daughter and grand-daughter. Jason could only truly be killed by a
relative, and since he was now body-hopping, the only way to get his own body
back was to possess one of the relatives.
If that’s not crazy enough, there was a bounty hunter named Creighton
Duke trying to bring everything together for a final showdown to kill Jason
forever.
There were two reasons I enjoyed Jason Goes to Hell, a movie suggested by @ThatStevenC. One was Creighton Duke. That character felt like something that was
missing in the Friday the 13th
movies outside of the Tommy Jarvis trilogy.
He was a character whose purpose was to stop Jason. What can help elevate a slasher beyond
slashing is an anti-slasher, a hero to the villain. I mean this as more than a final girl
type. Take Dr. Loomis in Halloween. He was always there trying to stop Michael
throughout the series. Creighton Duke
was that for one movie. The other thing
was how the standard formula of the Friday
the 13th franchise was broken.
Every movie had its entertaining moments, with the kills trying to get
more and more off-the-rails, but that story can get boring. Sometimes, something new should be
attempted. It might not land. The attempt is still nice.
Three of the four Iron
Eagle movies didn’t do too much for me.
Even though the original had a great soundtrack, I have a tough time
remembering anything about it. The
second one, I remember two groups coming together, but I don’t remember the
context. The fourth was like a “next
generation” sort of thing. It’s the
third movie that stuck with me, and for good reason. It was different than the rest. It had a different feel, one that fit me
better.
Most of the change in Aces:
Iron Eagle III could be attributed to director John Glen. He had come out of working on five James Bond films into working on the
third Iron Eagle movie, and that
influence truly showed. It was apparent
that the director had been a part of the later Roger Moore Bond films, since
this one felt like the campy, goofy late Moore-era style mixed with a story like
the Dalton-era.
Louis Gossett Jr. returned as Chappy an ace pilot, as the
title suggested. He was now working at
an airshow, putting on fake plane fights.
After an old friend’s plane was shot down, Chappy put together a team of
seasoned pilots to defeat a drug lord in Peru.
They used airshow plane tricks to take down the enemy pilots. There was comedy as much as there was action,
giving it a lighter tone than the others, while still telling a serious
story. It was the charm and cheese that
made it entertaining, as well as a cast that included Paul Freeman (who would
go on to be Ivan Ooze a few years later), Fred Dalton Thompson, Ray ‘Boom Boom’
Mancini, Sonny Chiba, and an early role for Phill Lewis. It’s just plain
entertaining.
You’ll notice as I go through the five years of the Sunday
“Bad” Movies that there are sometimes movies that I expect nothing out of, but
I get a pleasant surprise of something super fun. I got that in the first year with Hansel and Gretel Get Baked, and I got
it in the second year with Big Ass
Spider! The name of each of those
movies seemed like something that would be dumb and fun. They weren’t nearly as dumb as I expected,
and were instead mostly just fun horror movies.
Big Ass Spider!
was a self-aware monster movie about an exterminator in Los Angeles who had to
face off against a spider that grew larger every minute. The exterminator teamed up with a security
guard from a hospital, and together they went on an adventure to stop the
spider from destroying the city and possibly the world.
The most important thing about Big Ass Spider! was the cast, who were clearly having a delight
while making the movie. Greg Grunberg
took on the leading role exceptionally well.
His partner in crime, Lombardo Boyar, was a great sidekick. Ray Wise and Lin Shaye helped to round out
the cast. There was even a small
appearance by Lloyd Kaufman who never doesn’t have fun playing a role in a
movie. Having all of these actors together
propelled the movie above the standard direct-to-video monster movie fare. It was like Snakes on a Plane on a lower budget.
Yet nothing in it compared to the title drop. Yes, that’s right. The name of the movie was spoken in the
movie, which made the title all that much better. One guy on the news after the spider began
its rampage said “Hide your kids. Hide
your wife. There’s a big ass spider on
the loose.” And that’s how the movie got
its title. You can’t get much better
than that. Oh, and there’s also a solid
use of Where Is My Mind? to kick off the whole movie. That song is always great.
As someone who loves bad movies, how could I not fall in
love with this one? It was baffling in
so many ways. Every decision was
absurd. It ended up being a surreal
experience. I couldn’t believe what was
unfolding before my eyes. Was there ever
something unfolding.
This is one of the few movies that I’ve watched twice for
the Sunday “Bad” Movies. It was
originally chosen based on what I had heard.
Nobody suggested the movie before I watched it. I had simply heard tales about how weird it
was, so I decided to watch it. It only
became more infamous as time went on and when I asked which movie I should
rewatch for the second anniversary, it got the most votes. So I rewatched Winter’s Tale a second time.
Twice for the Sunday “Bad” Movies.
Only three other movies (soon to be four) can say they got that
treatment.
What makes Winter’s
Tale such a crazy movie that it ended up near the top of my list of
favourites? It’s a romance that takes
place over two different time periods.
The romance has to do with people giving other people miracles. There’s a magical horse, a demon miracle
hunter, and a strange as all hell Will Smith role. There’s even some amnesia thrown in there for
good measure. If there was anything that
you thought could make a romance movie more ridiculously magical, short of one
of the characters having been dead the entire time, this movie probably had it.
Winter’s Tale was
like one of those accidents where you know it’s bad but you just can’t look
away. Everything was dumb. Every new revelation made it dumber. Yet, it’s one of the most watchable movies to
have ever been a part of the Sunday “Bad” Movies. If people wanted me to watch it and write
something about it again, I probably would just for kicks. Not as a main movie. It had its time. A bonus post though? Sure.
I’d consider it.
You probably didn’t see this one coming. It was a Lifetime Christmas movie from 2012
that not too many people know about. I
know about it. I saw it for the Sunday
“Bad” Movies and it quickly moved into that territory of Christmas movies that
I watch every year because they bring me the Christmas joy that I want. I would never outwardly admit that, though. I’m open about loving the movie. Not so much about the Christmas joy part.
This had been up for inclusion in the Sunday “Bad” Movies
early on. It was in one of the polls
that I held in the early weeks before realizing that structuring the Sunday
“Bad” Movies that way wouldn’t be sustainable.
It may have even been the first week.
I think I polled three Hasselhoff movies to kick things off. It didn’t win and it wouldn’t be until the
second year that I tossed it into the mix. I live Tweeted it with friend of the
blog, @jaimeburchardt an instantly fell in love. With it, not Jaime. I was already in bro love with Jaime.
The part of The
Christmas Consultant that brings me to it year after year is the
performance of David Hasselhoff. He’s
not an actor that I usually think turns in great performances. Most people might not even consider his role
of Owen, the man brought into the family to help them throw a Christmas party,
a great role. The Hoff turned in some
good work, though. He brought the energy
necessary for the role, and when things got sad, he was able to bring a
believable sadness to the table as well.
It was as good a performance as you could want for the titular Christmas
Consultant.
There were a lot of things that Owen did to bring holiday
cheer that would have fallen flat without the energy of David Hasselhoff. There was an intense caroling scene that
upped the ante by adding backpack speakers and a microphone. Owen helped to get rid of the local bully by
pummeling him with fruitcakes. He brought
the extended family together to get the decorations set up on the front lawn. Owen even taught the kids to play Christmas
songs on different instruments to perform for their parents. Oh, and he set up a green screen sleigh ride
for the parents. He was the ultimate
bringer of Christmas cheer, and brings the joy into my house every holiday
season.
1. Samurai Cop
How could this not be in the top spot? Samurai
Cop is the kind of movie that I love discovering while going through the
many bad movies I watch every year. It
was so poorly made. However, that didn’t
keep it from being highly entertaining.
The entertaining aspects outweighed how poorly made it was, to the point
that it heightened them to being even more entertaining. The bad dialogue, wigs, and acting worked
together to create something special.
There was a police officer who was well versed in the ways
of the samurai. He was partnered up with
another police officer who was well versed in being an undercover cop. The partner even called himself an undercover
cop when he was climbing under a wall.
They were going up against a drug ring in Los Angeles, who also had a
member well versed in the ways of the samurai.
It had action, sex, comedy, and all kinds of bad wigs on the main
character.
In the fifth year of the Sunday “Bad” Movies, I scheduled
the sequel, Samurai Cop 2: Deadly
Vengeance. I rewatched the first
movie in preparation for that, and had as much fun with it as I had the first
time I saw it. It was like seeing it
again for the first time. There’s not
much of depth that I can really say about it.
All I can say is that I loved Samurai
Cop. If you’re a fan of the Sunday
“Bad” Movies, it is one of those must see movies. You need to watch it. It is one of those movies that can truly show
that a movie can be “so bad it’s good.”
That brings year two of the Sunday “Bad” Movies to a
close. Ten movies from the second year
of this blog series. At some point
during that year, it became its own blog.
I decided that since the series was going on for long enough and (still
to this day) having a post come out every Sunday, it was worth giving its own
space. And it has been worth it.
There will soon be posts for my ten favourite movies from
the third year, the fourth year, and the fifth year. This is my way of looking back on the five
years in which I’ve been watching bad movies and writing about them. It is all leading to the five year
anniversary, which will be celebrated on December 3rd. That’s a big deal for me. Five years.
Wow. See you soon with year
three.
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