The Lair of the White Worm (1988) and Its Villain

“I change my cars as regularly as a snake sheds its skin.” – Lady Sylvia Marsh, The Lair of the White Worm

A villain can make or break a movie.  They need to be a formidable opponent for the main character(s) so that there is a satisfying struggle.  That means a villain should have a flawed toughness.  They need to be nearly impossible to defeat, yet flawed enough that the hero can overpower them.  More importantly, a villain should be entertaining.

There are various ways to make a villain interesting to watch.  Mystery can make an audience want to know more about them.  Charisma can draw characters into their charm.  Physical characteristics can also make a villain stand out.  If you look at the James Bond movies, you can see villains that fit each of these character types.  But what about The Lair of the White Worm, which is nothing like a James Bond movie?  (Okay, maybe it shares the whole British thing)  How does its villain work?

First thing’s first.  What was the story of The Lair of the White Worm?  To understand the villain, one must first understand the conflict.  Angus Flint (Peter Capaldi) and Mary Trent (Sammi Davis) were excavating the yard of Mary’s bed and breakfast.  They uncovered the skull of what looked like a dragon, which they said was the ancestor of the modern snake and worm.  It seems weird that all of these animals are connected, but sure, let’s go with it.  They went to a party with their friend Lord James D’Ampton (Hugh Grant), and Mary’s sister Eve (Catherine Oxenberg) to celebrate the local legend of the D’Ampton Worm.  While they were partying, Lady Sylvia Marsh (Amanda Donohoe) stole the skull.  She began controlling people’s minds to find a virgin to sacrifice.  When Sylvia targeted Eve, the three remaining friends teamed up to save her and defeat the evil snake woman.  Yes, snake woman.  That’s what the rest of this post will be about.

The whole reason for Sylvia Marsh to steal the skull and kidnap Eve was to give a sacrifice to the god Dionin.  The D’Ampton Worm had survived an attempted slaying by James D’Ampton’s ancestor.  In order to appease the Dionin, it needed to be fed a virgin after a ritual involving the skull was performed.  The trio of heroes were out to stop this from happening and prevent the D’Ampton Worm from wreaking havoc on the English countryside once again.

They took on Sylvia Marsh by finding her weaknesses.  She didn’t have many, but the weaknesses all revolved around one thing.  Snakes were a big part of her personality.  Everything that she did revolved around snakes.  There were three big moments within The Lair of the White Worm that showcased how much her life revolved around being a snake and loving snakes.

The first and least important of the three traits appeared early in the movie.  A man named Kevin (Chris Pitt) was walking down the street in the rain trying to hitchhike.  He came upon Sylvia sitting on the side of the road in her car.  When he asked for a ride and asked what she was doing, she replied with “snake watching.”  That was the point in the movie where I knew that there would be a lot of snake jokes.

When Sylvia let Kevin get into her car, she convinced Kevin to go to her house.  He thought that the visit was going to be about having sex.  And, from his point of view, that seemed like what was going to happen.  Until his death, that is.  But that’s not something that matters here.  What came into play before then was the activity that Sylvia chose for the two of them to do.  She pulled out her Snakes and Ladders board and they played a game.  The board would come up again later when James visited the house.  Sylvia, in front of him, took the board and threw it into the fireplace.  She then stood there and said “Rosebud,” making reference to the famous line from Citizen Kane.

But it’s the third snake characteristic that meant the most.  It was also introduced through the section of the movie with Kevin.  After Sylvia won the game of Snakes and Ladders, she said that they needed some music.  She went to play a record.  Kevin pulled out his harmonica first.  As he was playing, Sylvia went into a trance and began dancing toward Kevin.  She was being charmed.  He was a snake charmer.

Somehow, the other characters figured this out when they were trying to figure out how to save Eve.  James put on a snake charming record in his house and blasted the sound out through large speakers on his roof.  This caused Sylvia to be charmed toward his house so that Angus and Mary could sneak into hers.  They wanted answers for why Eve had gone missing.  The record player cut out when the power was shut down to the house, causing danger to James.

The snake charming came back one more time at the end of the movie.  The police picked up Mary at her house and took her to Sylvia’s house.  That was because the police officer was another snake person.  Mary was trapped between the snake man and a locked gate when Angus appeared out of nowhere, playing bagpipes.  The bagpipes charmed the police officer away from Mary, allowing her to escape.  Three different things were used to charm snake people.  It was an interesting weakness for the snake people that made them more than your standard monster villain.

One of the key elements of building a villain is their charisma.  Sylvia had that.  One of the other elements is to make them original and interesting.  The originality of the snake people came from how they reacted to anything involving snakes.  Sometimes it was that they liked snakes and anything involving snakes.  But what made them more interesting to watch was their weakness.  Seeing the snake characters get distracted by music was one of the things that made them stand out among other, similar villains.

The Lair of the White Worm was an interesting watch.  It was just weird enough to work.  There were elements that were great, and a lot of snake puns that weren’t so great.  The villains made it as enjoyable as it was.  They brought that dangerous yet entertaining element through charisma, weakness, and looks.  Had Sylvia Marsh not been written and performed in that way, the movie wouldn’t have been nearly as fun.  It’s not the greatest movie by any stretch of the imagination, but the villain at least made it a good time.

These notes might not be a good time, but they’re here anyway:

• The Lair of the White Worm was suggested by @Mimekiller, who previously suggested Gymkata, Gnome Alone, and Timeline.
• One actor from The Lair of the White Worm has already been in a Sunday “Bad” Movie.  Imogen Claire appeared in Flash Gordon.
• James Bond was mentioned early in the post.  One James Bond movie has been covered for the Sunday “Bad” Movies.  That was Die Another Day.
• This is also October 15^th, which means we just passed a Friday the 13^th.  I’ve covered two Friday the 13^th movies.  They were Jason Goes to Hell and Friday the 13th: A New Beginning.
• Have you seen The Lair of the White Worm?  Did you like it?  Do you know any other villains who are obsessed with what they are?  Leave your comments below.
• If there are any movies you think that I should watch for the Sunday “Bad” Movies, let me know in the comments below.  I’m open to all suggestions.  You could find me on Twitter to let me know, as well.
• Sometimes while I’m watching bad movies, I put clips of them onto my snapchat story.  I did it with The Lair of the White Worm.  If you’re interested in this sort of thing, add me.  Jurassicgriffin.
• We still have half of October to go, which means two more horror movies in a row.  Next week, I’ll be diving into a not-so-classic John Carpenter movie as I watch The Ward.  I’ll even write a post for you guys to check out.  See you soon.

Bigfoot in Movies and Suburban Sasquatch (2004)

Bigfoot is a legend that never dies.  People still hunt for it in the same way that they hunt for proof that the Loch Ness Monster exists.  Whether or not Bigfoot actually exists is a matter of great debate, but one thing can be said for sure.  Bigfoot has captured the imaginations of many people and lots of imagery has come from it.  The most notable to the Sunday “Bad” Movies is obviously film, where Bigfoot has become a mainstay of the low budget.

Three movies covered in the blog have taken a look at Bigfoot’s antics.  Way back in week 31, there was a movie called Bigfoot’s Wild Weekend.  Then, earlier this year, a movie called Bigfoot vs. Zombies was covered.  Now I have seen Suburban Sasquatch.  All three movies have Bigfoot acting out, though each of them goes about it in a different way.  Let’s get into what each of them are about and what happens with Bigfoot.

Bigfoot’s Wild Weekend

Bigfoot isn’t always portrayed as a horrific monster.  That happens a lot, but movies like Harry and the Hendersons have shown that Bigfoot can be loveable too.  Bigfoot’s Wild Weekend turned the character into a drinking, partying, panty-stealing frat boy of a Sasquatch.

A man who worked for a tabloid magazine was sent to a small town find some images of Bigfoot so that the magazine could have an exclusive story.  He offered money to anyone who could successfully hunt down Bigfoot.  He interviewed the locals and fell in love while Bigfoot was busy partying.

If I had time, I would have rewatched Bigfoot’s Wild Weekend to give more insight into what the movie is.  It has been four years since I saw it.  Between work, school and getting this post done, there’s just not a lot of time to go around.  I remember enjoying the movie.  It wasn’t the highest end production quality, but for its low budget, it knew how to have fun.  It was a wild weekend and the audience was along for the ride.

Bigfoot vs. Zombies

Back in January, for week 218 of the Sunday “Bad” Movies, I watched something called Bigfoot vs. Zombies.  It was another movie where Bigfoot ended up being not that bad.  It was a helpful being.  But the movie veered much more into the horror side of things, which is where the majority of Bigfoot stories go.

A group of workers at a body farm fall prey to zombies when one of the scientists accidentally creates the zombie virus.  They are killed one by one until Bigfoot, who is in love with one of the scientists, steps in to take out the zombies.  It is Bigfoot against the zombies, a versus for the ages.

There wasn’t a lot to like about Bigfoot vs. Zombies.  It was poorly made in every way, and worst of all, it was boring.  The characters were uninteresting to watch and the humour was bad.  I know that Bigfoot movies are usually thought to be bad, and zombie movies are hit and miss.  I didn’t expect the combination of the two to be one of the worst movies I’ve seen for the Sunday “Bad” Movies.

Suburban Sasquatch

The inclusion of Suburban Sasquatch in the Sunday “Bad” Movies was a decision made upon one of the many podcasts I listen to.  The hosts watched the movie and have talked about it many times since.  These discussions got me interested in watching the movie, and after having bought a set it was included in, I decided to give it a viewing.

Suburban Sasquatch puts the beast as the bad guy in a horror flick.  The people of a small, suburban area are tormented by a magical Bigfoot that can teleport itself when in danger.  Reporter Rick Harlan (Bill Ushler) investigates the Bigfoot sightings and finds a woman named Talla (Sue Lynn Sanchez) hunting the Bigfoot with her own magical powers.  They team up to stop the Sasquatch terror and save the locals from the danger of Bigfoot.

Again, this was not a great Bigfoot movie.  Few of them are.  It was an okay horror movie made on an extremely low budget.  The sound quality was bad at some points.  At least Dave Wascavage had some fun making it.  You can tell that the people involved in the movie were having a good time when they were putting it together.  That’s something.

I’ve seen three movies for the Sunday “Bad” Movies that revolved around the idea of Bigfoot.  One of them made the creature out to be a frat boy style goofball.  Another made Bigfoot into the hero, saving people from zombies.  The third had Bigfoot be the monster that most people think it is.  Three different takes on Bigfoot, each of them not the greatest movies.

Has there been a good Bigfoot movie?  The closest that I’ve seen is Harry and the Hendersons, which was mentioned earlier in the post.  It made Bigfoot into a lovable creature that basically became a part of the Henderson family.  I’ve heard good things about the Bobcat Goldthwait directed Willow Creek.  I don’t know much about that one, though.  Outside of those two movies, there aren’t a lot of respected movies involving Bigfoot and Sasquatch.

The legend of Bigfoot is one that has captured imaginations for generations.  People want to know definitively whether or not the creature exists.  Books, movies, and photography come out all the time depicting Bigfoot.  They may not be high end products, but they exist.  It’s only a matter of time until a great Bigfoot movie comes along.  What will it be?

Before we go, let’s check out some notes:

• Here are the posts for Bigfoot’s Wild Weekend and Bigfoot vs. Zombies.
• Some other movies I’ve covered with very low budgets, like that of Suburban Sasquatch, are Science Crazed and Nightmare Asylum.
• Have you seen Suburban Sasquatch?  Have you seen any Bigfoot movies?  What do you think of the Bigfoot legend?  Let me know in the comments or on Twitter.
• Both the comments and Twitter are good places to let me know about the movies I should be checking out for the Sunday “Bad” Movies.  Suggest away.  Tell me what movies I should see.
• I like to sometimes share snapchat clips of the movies I’m watching.  If you want to see any of those, add me.  My username is jurassicgriffin.
• The movie coming up next week is one that I know almost nothing about.  It’s a movie called Lair of the White Worm.  I don’t even know what the basic premise of the movie is.  I’m going in blind and I’ll have some sort of an idea about it next week.  Come back then to see what that idea is.

The Swarm (1978) and How Crazy the Bees Were

“We've been fighting a losing battle against the insects for fifteen years, but I never thought I'd see the final face-off in my lifetime. And I never dreamed, that it would turn out to be the bees. They've always been our friend.” – Brad Crane, The Swarm

Early in The Happening, Elliot Moore (Mark Wahlberg) pondered the disappearance of bees with the students in his high school science class.  They came to the conclusion that an unexplainable force of nature must have made them disappear.  The removal of bees from the world would be devastating to most ecosystems since the bees themselves are a force of nature, pollinating many of the plants that bring life to Earth.  They are the backbone of nature in many ways.  However, people fear the creatures, seeing them as buzzing little annoyances.  People don’t want to risk being stung.  The venom in a bee sting can hurt and sometimes kill.  As with any fear, movies picked up on this.

The Swarm was an Irwin Allen directed disaster movie about a swarm of African Killer Bees invading Texas.  There was massive death and destruction, as well as a cast filled with recognizable faces.  Michael Caine starred as Dr. Brad Crane, an entomologist studying the bees to find a way to get rid of them before the death toll rose too high.  He brought in help from Dr. Hubbard (Richard Chamberlain), Dr. Newman (Morgan Paull), and Dr. Krim (Henry Fonda).  The military oversaw this mission.  Specifically, General Slater (Richard Widmark) oversaw things while Captain Helena Anderson (Katharine Ross) worked with Crane to save locals from the bees.  The locals were mostly inhabitants of nearby Marysville, including Mayor Clarence (Fred MacMurray), Maureen Schuester (Olivia de Havilland) and Felix Austin (Ben Johnson).  Other characters entered and exited the movie at various points as Texas was torn apart by the bees.

African Killer Bees were one of those fears that seemed like such a big thing at the time, but now isn’t much of anything.  That fear emanated through The Swarm, making the bees into one of the most destructive threats to ever hit the USA.  The bees could destroy anything in their paths, getting increasingly more ridiculous as the movie played on.

At the start of The Swarm, the military entered one of their bases and found all of their men dead.  They thought that some sort of biological weapon had been used.  It wasn’t so.  As Dr. Crane would later figure out through tapes of the events leading up to the attack, the base had done some sort of alarm test with their sirens.  The sirens sounded the same as the mating call of the African Killer Bees.  The bees were attracted to the sound and infiltrated the base to mate.  They found the military personnel and killed them.  It was a form of biological weaponry, only it wasn’t humans against humans.  It was humans against bees.

The military quickly learned to take the bees seriously.  They sent two helicopters to follow a slow moving mass.  That mass ended up being the bees.  The African Killer Bees didn’t appreciate being followed by military helicopters and attacked the flying machines.  The pilots lost control of both helicopters and crashed.  Explosions left no doubt that the personnel died during the crashes.  This event helped to prove Dr. Crane’s point about how dangerous the bees were.  The military had no option but to let him do his work to try and stop the bees.

The bees followed up this military intrigue by going after the small town of Marysville.  This happened in two stages.  The first was when they attacked a small family that was having a picnic in the countryside.  Paul (Christian Juttner), the son, was the only member of the family to escape the bees.  He watched as his mother and father were covered and killed by the African Killer Bees, and fled in a bee covered car.  The bees followed him to Marysville, where they subsequently attacked the town.  They went after the people in the main square.  They attacked children on recess at school.  The visuals during this portion of the movie were great as every person attacked by the bees was shown covered in the bees.

Marysville residents weren’t too excited about the attack and decided to flee the town before the bees returned.  They got onto a train and headed to safety.  They wouldn’t make it.  As the train rolled on, the bees gave chase.  They attacked the engine, causing a chain reaction.  The train fell down the side of a hill or mountain, killing most of the people on board.  A few of the major characters were taken out of the story with this incident.  From this point forward, there was one, more destructive, act that the bees would cause.

Dr. Hubbard was sent to a nuclear power plant to inform the workers that the bees were headed that way.  Dr. Andrews (Jose Ferrer), the man in charge of the plant, said that the bees weren’t a threat.  His nuclear power plant could withstand an attack by the bees.  But it couldn’t.  The bees immediately made their way into the plant.  They killed the two doctors as well as many of the other workers inside.  This was another scene that did great work with the bees being everywhere.  Chamberlain and Ferrer were covered with bees.  It was visually stunning.  The bees managed to do something inside the nuclear plant that caused it to explode, killing over 200 thousand people in the area.  Somehow the bees survived, though.

Fire became the primary weapon of the heroes in their attempts to stop the bees.  After the explosion of the nuclear plant, Houston was evacuated and set on fire to try and kill the incoming bees.  When the bees invaded the headquarters for the military force against them, General Slater and Major Baker (Bradford Dillman) used flamethrowers and their lives to let Dr. Crane and Captain Anderson escape.  The two escapees came up with a new plan.  They oil slicked some water off the coast of Texas.  They used buoys to lure the bees out there with the sound of the sirens from the military base.  When the swarm got to the buoys, the oil was ignited and the African Killer Bees were killed.

The Swarm was a disaster movie through and through.  The only difference was that the disaster was a swarm of African Killer Bees.  Everything escalated to insane heights.  The only reason it didn’t work as well as other disaster movies was because the story was about bees causing trouble.  It wasn’t a fire that was doing stuff.  It wasn’t an overturned boat or an earthquake.  There were no weather issues.  It was one swarm of African Killer Bees causing the same amount of destruction.  That’s a little bit ridiculous.

The African Killer Bees aren’t as big of a fear now as they used to be.  That makes looking back at The Swarm somewhat of a look back into history.  It’s not a movie that is entirely relevant now.  But it is semi-fun.  If you like to see destruction, and you want to see people covered in bees, this is the kind of movie to show that.  It’s not something that should be taken seriously.  It’s goofy.  But it’s still entertaining.

Here are some less entertaining notes:

• The Swarm was suggested by @brideofcrapula, who also suggested Fatal Deviation.
• The Happening was mentioned at the beginning of this post.
• Cameron Mitchell was in The Swarm, after being featured in Terror in Beverly Hills.
• Howard Culver returned to the Sunday “Bad” Movies with The Swarm.  He had previously been in The Million Dollar Duck.
• Don ‘Red’ Barry appeared in The Swarm.  He was also in Orca.
• The Swarm was the second Sunday “Bad” Movie for Michael Caine, who was in Jaws: The Revenge.
• Finally, Morgan Paull showed up in The Swarm.  He had done voice work in GoBots: Battle of the Rock Lords.
• Have you seen The Swarm?  Do you still fear the African Killer Bees?  Let me know your thoughts about anything related to this post in the comments section.
• The comment section is also a good place to let me know about the movies I should be watching as part of the Sunday “Bad” Movies.  Go to the comments.  Put the movie there.  I’ll see what you have to say and likely put the movie in my list of possibilities for future scheduling.  Or you can find me on Twitter and do the same thing.
• Sometimes when I watch bad movies, I share clips of them on snapchat.  If you want to see those clips, add me.  Jurassicgriffin.
• Now onto what’s coming up next week.  The movie will be a little movie called Suburban Sasquatch.  It’s in one of the movie sets I have.  If you haven’t heard of it, don’t worry.  I’ll be writing about it in a week and then you’ll know all about it.  See you then.