The Six Cameos of Never on Tuesday (1989)

Low budget filmmakers will do anything to make their film and assure that it gets seen by as many eyes as possible. One of the first things that they learn is to beg, borrow, and steal. Beg people to use their homes for locations, to use their money to fund some aspects of the filmmaking process, to feature them as an actor in the film, or to use something they own. That bleeds into borrow. Ask people if their things can be used for free because it will save money on the budget. Then there is steal, where something is straight up taken. Maybe not breaking and entering or robbery, but if something is on the curb for the garbagemen to take, feel free to take that and use it. Beg, borrow, and steal. Save some money on a low budget film.

Some filmmakers end up with better resources than others. Adam Rifkin had more resources when he was making his first film, Never on Tuesday. He went to great lengths to save money and get people to see his film. There was the fact that they were shooting on film with the leftover scraps of film rolls that were used for other productions. Adam Rifkin also had connections that many other low budget filmmakers who are just starting out don’t have. He knew people, and he got them to show up in his movie.

First, though, a rundown of what Never on Tuesday was. Matt (Andrew Lauer) and Eddie (Peter Berg) were two friends travelling from Ohio to California because they wanted to experience the women of California. They were driving down a long, isolated, desert road when one thing led to another and they collided into a car driven by Tuesday (Claudia Christian). With both cars damaged and unable to drive, the three of them had to wait until someone came along and lent them a helping hand.

Throughout Never on Tuesday, Adam Rifkin would have a few of the famous people he knew come in for short scenes of strange activity. These scenes would be brief interludes, cutting up the monotony of the main characters waiting by the road for someone, anyone, to come help them. Every time someone would stop where they were, it would be another person who was at least semi-famous at the time. This is the story of Never on Tuesday in six cameos (but only five scenes).

Nicolas Cage

It’s time to set the scene for Never on Tuesday. Matt and Eddie were driving down the desert road. Eddie was fixing his hair while Matt was teasing him. Taunting him, not teasing his hair. Anyway, they ended up ruffling each others’ hair, causing Matt to swerve into the other lane. Next thing he knew, there was a car in front of him. Both cars tried to miss each other, but the front of the guys’ car hit the back of Tuesday’s Volkswagen Beetle.

When the crash happened, they got out and yelled at each other for a bit. That’s what anyone would do in the situation. People stuck out in the desert with no help in sight, their cars damaged while they’re on their way to something they think is important. Yelling was in order. It was halted for a moment, however, when a red sports car appeared on the horizon.

The first cameo in Never on Tuesday was a one-minute appearance by Nicolas Cage. He was the driver of the red car. He wasn’t playing himself. He was just some weird driver. When the car opened, he stepped out with a giant nose and what was basically a bowl cut without the front. He spoke strangely, in one of those accents that only Nic Cage would do, and asked if anyone needed help. The guys said they didn’t, and Nic Cage was off. Bye bye cameo number one. The guys would rather try and hit on the woman in a dire situation than hop into your car.

Gilbert Gottfried

The three main characters soon found themselves stuck in the desert. Because the engine of a Volkswagen Beetle is in the back, the two engines hit in the collision. There was too much damage. Neither car would start. The best that the characters could do was to roll their cars off the road and wait for another person to come by who could help them out. They passed the time by talking about anything they could think of and slowly bonding. Tuesday revealed she was gay. That dashed the guys’ chances of hooking up with her, but they still daydreamed about it.

While having a snack, Eddie noticed another car approaching. The three acquaintances hailed the car down. It passed them, but quickly stopped and turned around. Gilbert Gottfried appeared from the car, playing a door-to-door salesman. He was selling some sort of device that was a four in one. It included a toothbrush, a hairbrush, and two other things. Matt bought one. The three stranded people asked for a ride. They didn’t get one, though. The salesman mentioned something about not having a license and sped off before anyone could get into his car. They were still stranded.

Charlie Sheen

A whole night went by without anyone driving past the stalled cars. The three stranded people told spooky stories, had dreams, and tried to figure out if they had a way to live through another day in the desert heat. They didn’t. All their drinks and food were gone. If they didn’t get any help by the end of the day, they would surely die. Someone stopping to pick them up and take them to town was their only chance of living to complete their cross-country journeys.

Matt, at one point, completely snapped. He couldn’t take it anymore. He screamed that they were all going to die, ran around in circles, then bolted down the road into the distance. Eddie and Tuesday stood and watched, knowing that they couldn’t do anything about it. Matt ended up running back before falling onto the ground. They dragged him over to the cars where everyone sat and talked it over. Then a car approached.

Charlie Sheen was revealed to be the man behind the wheel. Of course, he wasn’t Charlie Sheen. He was playing a character. He got out of the car, pulled out a butterfly knife, and took Matt hostage. Eddie was willing to trade all his money to get Matt back. The thief wanted more. He kept telling Eddie to take things and put them “in the car.” It was, honestly, the funniest bit in the entire film. Once the thief had everything he wanted, including Matt’s menorah, he got back into his car and drove away. The three stranded people were left with almost nothing.

Judd Nelson

The day was long. The thought of being stranded out there any longer was weighing heavy on the minds of the three characters. After Charlie Sheen had stolen anything of any value from them, there was nothing left for them to stay by the cars for. They were going to take their chances walking to the nearest town. They would probably die along the way, but they didn’t care. It was a more dignified way of dying than sitting there and waiting.

As soon as they started walking down the road, a police motorcycle approached from behind. They stopped a few steps from their car and got the help they had been waiting so long for. The police officer was Judd Nelson, acting like a predecessor to Deputy Winston from Eli Roth’s Cabin Fever. Only, instead of partying, he was all about messing with the three people. He said weird things, mentioned that he loved his job, pulled a gun on Matt for no reason, and tossed a cold can of Pepsi to Tuesday. Then he rode off to go get them the help they needed.

Cary Elwes and Emilio Estevez

The help came in the form of two goofy country bumpkin tow truck drivers played by Emilio Estevez and Cary Elwes. They showed up and drank a couple beers while prepping the wrecked cars for their respective journeys. The whole time, the two of them were astonished that Matt and Eddie got to spend a whole day with Tuesday. When Eddie tried to say it wasn’t what they thought, Tuesday kissed him and Matt. The guys got in one tow truck, Tuesday got in the other, and they parted ways.

Never on Tuesday ended on two familial connections to other people involved in the movie. The Emilio Estevez connection was the more obvious one. People know, by now, that his family is big in the film business. Martin Sheen is his father. Joe Estevez is his uncle. Renée Esteves is his sister. And then there’s his brother, Charlie Sheen. Charlie had already shown up in the movie as the thief. Cary Elwes’s connection wasn’t as obvious to the general person, but still a pretty big connection. His brother, Cassian Elwes, was one of the producers for Never on Tuesday. Cassian worked with a bunch of the Never on Tuesday actors time and time again.

Adam Rifkin called upon the people he knew to help him fill out the cast of his directorial debut. Each cameo had someone recognizable playing a bit of comedy in what was otherwise a roadside, dialogue movie. They would come in, do something funny, and be out as quickly as they entered. It was all a favour to help out someone they knew who was finding his footing in the film business. Connections can be one of the biggest helping hands.

There can be many ways to cut costs and get eyeballs on a movie. Begging, borrowing, and stealing is a major credo for low budget filmmaking. Having some famous friends can help too. Audiences want to see people they know. If those people are in a low budget film, the audience is more likely to seek it out. Big names generate some box office. That’s why people who already have Hollywood connections will call upon their friends to help. That’s why cameos happen. And, in the world of bad movies, that makes some otherwise forgettable movies have something memorable to show.

Here are a few notes that came out of this movie:

• Never on Tuesday was the fourth Sunday “Bad” Movies appearance of Cary Elwes. He previously showed up in Hansel and Gretel Get Baked (week 38), The Oogieloves in the Big Balloon Adventure (week 39), and New Year’s Eve (week 57).
• Nicolas Cage also made a fourth appearance this week, after being in Outcast (week 163), Ghost Rider (week 260), and Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance (week 260).
• Judd Nelson’s cameo appearance in Never on Tuesday was his third appearance in the Sunday “Bad” Movies. His other two appearances were in Santa, Jr. (week 107) and Steel (week 127).
• Charlie Sheen is another person who made their third appearance in Never on Tuesday. He could previously be heard in Foodfight! (week 143) and seen in The Wraith (week 355).
• Peter Berg and Adam Rifkin were both in Going Overboard (week 67) and Never on Tuesday. Adam Rifkin directed Never on Tuesday.
• Andrew Lauer, who played Matt in Never on Tuesday, was also in The Beast of Bray Road (week 176).
• Finally, Gilbert Gottfried could be seen in Never on Tuesday, and his famous voice could be heard in Thumbelina (week 286).
• Have you seen Never on Tuesday? What did you think of it? Have you ever seen any of the cameos from it? Let me know in the comments or on Twitter.
• If there are any movies that you think should be suggested for the Sunday “Bad” Movies, hit me up on Twitter or in the comments. Tell me what they are. I want to know.
• I would also like you to head on over to the Sunday “Bad”Movies Instagram and check things out. That would be nifty.
• After checking out Never on Tuesday, I decided that it was time to revisit a franchise that keeps coming up in the Sunday “Bad” Movies. It was first featured at the end of the first year and has come back three times since. This is the fourth return for the fourth, non-crossover movie. That’s right. Evil Bong 420 is coming up. I’ll see you next Sunday with a post for it.