Sunday, March 13, 2016

Fant4stic (2015)



I have mentioned countless times the amount of sequels, reboots, and remakes in modern cinema.  The majority of the movies that get wide release fall under one of those categories.  A couple weeks ago, I discussed them in the context of the Showgirls franchise.  This week’s movie it isn’t a sequel.  It’s the reboot of Fantastic Four, stylized as Fant4stic (which I will use), that is my point of interest.

Before I get into the movie itself, I want to give some background on how it came to be.  Some people who are reading this might not know all the information.  I don’t either.  I’m still going to detail the background as I know it anyway.

There is currently a Marvel Cinematic Universe that brings Marvel Comics to life in a live action, big screen way.  The different heroes interact and cross over with one another while still getting their own individual series.  Iron Man, Thor, Captain America, and The Incredible Hulk share screen time and leave lasting effects upon each other’s film journeys.  That wasn’t always the case.  For some of the Marvel properties, that still isn’t the case.

In the late 1990s and early 2000s, Marvel was licensing the rights to their big name heroes in any attempt to make movies.  Sony took on Spider-Man, creating two franchises, with a third MCU connected franchise on the way.  Fox got a lot of the other properties.  They got Daredevil, X-Men, and The Fantastic Four.  These weren’t the only movies to come out of this licensing, but they’re all that we need to care about right now.

The important thing to remember about these licensing deals are that they are not permanent.  The properties will eventually revert back to Marvel and they will likely use them for their in house productions.  Look at Daredevil.  They got the Daredevil rights back and made a successful Netflix show with the character.  This almost happened with The Fantastic Four.

In 2005 and 2007, Fox released two Fantastic Four movies.  They were semi-successful, but nobody took them seriously or even really respected them.  The franchise died following the second movie.  But as per the licensing agreement, Fox has to produce a Fantastic Four movie every few years or else they will lose the rights.  The Josh Trank helmed Fant4stic is just the movie to hold the studio over and keep the rights.

Fant4stic was a full reboot of the movie franchise with a new cast and a new story.  Reed Richards (Miles Teller) was a science smart college student who figured out how to teleport things with his best friend Ben Grimm (Jamie Bell).  He was discovered by Franklin Storm (Reg E. Cathey) and his adopted daughter Susan Storm (Kate Mara), who brought him into their science school.  Reed was paired with Victor von Doom (Toby Kebbell) to build a teleporter that could send people to another dimension.  Also working on the machine was Franklin’s son and Susan’s brother Johnny Storm (Michael B. Jordan).  When a teleportation experiment went wrong, the team found out that they had new superpowers.

That sounds like a fairly simple story, and a slight variation on the origin that most people already know.  Instead of being astronauts who get radiated in space, they were modern scientists who got radiated in a teleportation experiment accident.  This was a decent enough update to not make it feel like the same origin being shown for the second time in a decade.

There were a few other changes that worked in the movie’s favour.  The computer generated effects for Ben Grimm once he became The Thing were well done.  This was the first time that the character wasn’t a prosthetic costume in a movie.  His design may not have been perfect, but for the grounded style of the movie, he looked realistic.  Reed’s stretchy body also looked good.  Minus the few instances where it looked cartoony, he never felt out of place in the world.  Susan and Johnny also had good effects present for their powers, though the character design of burning Johnny was pretty bad.  The effects throughout were solid.

The performances were also good.  Whatever you might think of the quality of Josh Trank’s two movies, it is hard to deny that he gets good performances out of his actors.  Chronicle was as good as it was because of the three lead performances.  Fant4stic had a good group of core actors turning in some solid performances, though not the best in any of their careers.  If there was one part of the movie that rose above the rest, it was the performances.

Yet none of this held Fant4stic together.  The movie was a mess.  Josh Trank admitted as much less than a day before the movie released when he went onto Twitter and said, “A year ago I had a fantastic version of this.  And it would've received great reviews.  You'll probably never see it.  That's reality though.”  He deleted the message soon after posting it, but the damage had been done.  People saw what he said.  We all knew he was disappointed in the final product.

Many reasons have been hypothesized over why Trank thought that Fant4stic wasn’t his vision and wasn’t good.  They all come down to his relationship with the studio and how the studio influenced movie.  I’ve looked into a few of these things, though not enough to be definitive.  What I found was that Josh Trank had a very large script that got substantially changed in rewrites.  The movie that came out wasn’t what Trank had written, but rather what Simon Kinberg had rewritten.

I also saw some people claim that the movie was supposed to be nearly two and a half hours long.  That’s an hour’s worth of movie that was cut from final version.  This tidbit makes more sense when you hear that the first two thirds of the movie were originally meant as the first act.  The characters should be getting their powers at the end of the first act, not two thirds of the way through the movie.  Messing with the timing like that is bad storytelling.  It makes most of the movie drag on, and the end of the movie feel rushed.  The pacing is thrown off.

The other major claim to why Josh Trank wasn’t happy with the final cut was the reshoots and re-editing that were done by the studio.  The re-editing moved some things around in the movie so that they were out of order.  It also removed key moments.  But the reshoots were even worse and more glaring.  As Josh Trank probably knew upon seeing the final cut, there were big inconsistencies between the original footage and the reshoot footage.  The most notable was the wig that Kate Mara wore when she came back to film extra scenes.  Her hair in the reshoots was more blonde, and thicker than in the other scenes.

However, Josh Trank can likely be as much to blame as the studio when it comes to the failure of Fant4stic.  There are many rumours about his behaviour during the production.  Though the problems outlined above might have been due to studio interference, they may have been consequences of the erratic behaviour of Josh Trank.

Off of the set, Josh Trank caused damage to the house in which he was staying.  He brought his small dogs with him when they were shooting.  The dogs would be left in the house while Trank was on set.  During the production of Fant4stic, over $100,000 damage was done to the property by the dogs.  This was a sign of the disrespect that Trank had for other people that would be furthered by reports of his behaviour on set.

There were no good relationships between the director and his cast or crew.  When it came to the crew and production staff working on Fant4stic, Trank remained isolated and never gave a clear, concise description of what he wanted.  The studio did not appreciate his lack of clarity, which led to the recutting and reshooting issues.  Trank had a vision that he wasn’t sharing, so the people surrounding him did not know how to translate it to the screen.  If he had been communicative in a better way, he might have been able to salvage what ended up being a mess.

The clashes that Josh Trank had with his cast are as much a bad sign as his problems with the crew.  It is no secret that Trank wanted another actress to play Susan Storm.  Kate Mara was the studio’s choice.  She was pushed on him.  He treated her poorly on set because she was not his choice.  He was acting like a child who had his toy taken away.  Not even his favourite toy.  Just one of the many.  Trank also has issues with Miles Teller, at one point coming to near fisticuffs.  Having disputes this heated between cast and director can cause major problems in the production of a movie.  It can lead to performances that are worse than they need to be.

The combination of director and studio brought Fant4stic down from within.  The movie isn’t bad because of our bandwagon society.  This isn’t a new Adam Sandler movie.  Fant4stic was a failure because the people involved in making it couldn’t work together and in trying to fix the other’s problems, they created a jumbled mess.

I’m not as set against Fant4stic as other people.  Though there are some major issues, there are still some interesting things within it.  Like I’ve said, the acting is solid and the effects tend to look good (though the designs are sometimes garbage).  They tried to take the characters in a different direction and it would have worked if not for the dysfunction behind the scenes.  There is promise in what’s there, but that’s not enough to salvage the bad movie.

Now it’s time for some notes to round out this whole thing:
  • Fant4stic was suggested by @judgmentalnerd.
  • John L. Armijo was in Fant4stic.  He was also in Freelancers, way back near the beginning of the Sunday “Bad” Movies.
  • Fant4stic featured Dina Morrone, making a return to the Sunday “Bad” Movies after being in Temptation: Confessions of a Marriage Counselor.
  • Marco St. John made a second Sunday “Bad” Movies appearance after already being in Friday the 13th: A New Beginning.
  • Finally, Chet Hanks had a role in Fant4stic.  He was previously in Bratz: The Movie.
  • You probably disagree with my opinion of Fant4stic, or you may already know all of the stuff I’ve written about.  You can use the comments to talk all about this post.
  • The comments are also a good place to suggest movies for future Sunday “Bad” Movies installments.  If not there, you can try my Twitter timeline.
  • I’ve been snapchatting clips from the movies I watch, many of them being bad movies.  If you would like to share in the clips, find me.  I’m jurassicgriffin on snapchat.
  • Next week’s movie will be a trip to the 1990s with Cabin Boy.  The movie starred none other than Chris Elliott.  There are some interesting people in there, and I’m excited to either laugh or feel pain from how unfunny it is.  I don’t know what experience I will have, but I’ll let you know in a week.  Bye!

Sunday, March 6, 2016

Robo Vampire (1988)



I’m going to get straight to the point with this post.  I watched Robo Vampire this week and I have a lot to say about it.  The thing is, what I want to say doesn’t lean into any broad topic.  This post is going to be all about Robo Vampire.  The movie is so crazy that I will have more than enough material to write about.

Robo Vampire is a 1988 movie directed by Godfrey Ho under the pseudonym Joe Livingstone.  There were two stories going on throughout the movie that had little to no connection.  The first story involved a magical martial arts master who controlled vampires, going up against a robot man hybrid created from a dead police officer.  The other story was about a group of mercenaries for hire who were sent on a mission to save a kidnapped drug enforcement agent.  Both plotlines had their own ludicrous beats.

Like many of the other posts in which I focus solely on the movie of the week, this will be a post where I run through the various elements that make the movie wacky and insane.  It will be more than five points that I address.  This movie was too crazy for me to imagine a limit to what I’m going to write.  I’ll just keep going until I have run out of material.  Then I will go a little bit more because I’m not the kind of person to stop when I should.  I can ramble more than need be.

The Poster
I want to start with the artwork for Robo Vampire.  It is the same artwork that I will feature at the top of this post.  The poster features a Robocop like character getting ready to be a part of the action.  That is not the case when you actually watch the movie.  There is no character that comes close to resembling Robocop.  There is a robotic character.  He’ll come up later.  But his look is in no way similar to Robocop. 

This artwork was clearly thrown together to try and get people to pick it up in a video rental store.  Remember, it was 1988 when Robo Vampire came out.  There were stores to rent movies.  It was the primary way to watch movies in your home unless you waited for them to pop up on your favourite television channel.  Or if you had a lot of money and could buy movies.  Maybe if people looking for something to watch saw a Robocop like character on the cover, they would grab the movie expecting a Robocop like movie.  That’s not what they would get.  These movies aren’t even in the same ballpark.

Robo Vampires?
There are no robot vampires in Robo Vampire.  There is a robotic man, as I’ve already mentioned and will mention again later in this post.  There are vampires that I will elaborate on.  There is even a half-naked ghost character.  Yet there is nothing that combines the robot with the vampire.  Those are two separate entities that were only put together for an exciting title.  Do not go into this movie expecting a robot vampire.

The Vampires
It is difficult to explain the vampires in Robo Vampire without clips of the movie, but I will try.  These vampires weren’t typical vampires.  They were martial arts fighting vampires that shot smoke out of their mouths and arms, with one of them shooting fire crackers or bottle rockets or something out of its sleeves as well.  They got some good air but preferred to hop around.  The lead vampire had a gorilla face.

The vampires were still dangerous. They liked to eat flesh.  One of the vampires attacked a man and bit into his neck as the main title appeared.  It had chunks of flesh hanging from its mouth as Robo Vampire flashed onto the screen.  They might have wanted flesh more than blood, but they were supposed to be vampires.

The Relationship
The vampires can’t be brought up without mentioning the half-naked ghost woman that was in love with one of them.  She showed up early in the movie to confront the martial arts master controlling the vampires.  She could no longer be with the man she loved in the afterlife because that man was turned into a vampire.  She appeared in a sheer white sheet and showed off her nipples while fighting the martial arts master and the head vampire.  This was before the vampire recognized the love of his life.  Later in the movie, she resorted to actually getting naked in her fight as some form of distraction that doesn’t work.  Oh well.

The Robot Man
As opposition to the vampires, ghost woman, and the martial arts master with a magic dagger, there was the robot man.  This character was probably inspired by Robocop as the poster for Robo Vampire would have you believe.  The character was a police officer killed in the line of duty by the vampires.  The government decided that a good idea would be to bring him back to life as a half robot half man fighting force.  They sent him after the vampires.

The most notable thing about the robot man was his look.  He looked nothing like Robocop.  He looked like someone wearing tinfoil.  The safety of that material while under gunfire is nonexistent.  If he went into a real battle, it wouldn’t do protect him.  This was especially true in a moment when he was blown up by a grenade launcher and disintegrated.  His torso turned into a hollowed out cardboard box and the government had to rebuild him.

Robot man had the power of super strength.  He could bend guns and tear them apart.  Other than that, he was exactly like any soldier, except noisier.  He made mechanical sounds with every step that he took.  His voice sounded like it was run through a computer.  That all came with him being half robot.  It made him a machine.

The Martial Arts Master
The hopping vampires that opposed the robot man were controlled by a martial arts master.  This man had a magical dagger that he waved around in rapid motions to get the vampires to do whatever he wanted.  When the police tried to capture him, he sent his vampires after them.  That caused the robot man’s creation.  The martial arts master has showcased his fighting skills by going one-on-one against the half-naked ghost woman multiple times.  He was an important part of the story.

The Drug Story
Half of Robo Vampire was devoted to the vampires and the robot man, a ludicrous, fantastical story involving wirework martial arts.  The other half was a more grounded story about drugs and mercenaries.  Drug enforcement agents were trying to stop the smuggling of cocaine or heroin or something.  They were discovered by the drug lord, who killed all but one female agent, who he kidnapped.  The government hired a mercenary who put together a team and set out to free her.

This half of Robo Vampire was a standard action movie filled with gunplay.  It was people shooting each other with small bursts of martial arts thrown in.  No wirework was involved.  Instead, the performers jumped around kicking and punching when they weren’t using guns.

Super Strong Guards
The guards around the prisoner cell were unbelievably strong.  In many action movies, the strength of guards, bodyguards, and henchmen is used as a sort of comedic relief for the action that is happening.  That wasn’t the case in Robo Vampire.  The strength of these guys was played straight.  It was about the characters escaping from the strong men.  There were multiple strong guards in the movie.  They were a credible threat and not the muscle thug joke that most movies make them out to be.

Dialogue
Robo Vampire was oozing with bad dialogue.  The first notable line was near the beginning of the movie when a character was thanking the sleeping vampires.  I don’t remember why he was thanking them but he was.  Then there was the initial interaction with the half-naked ghost woman as she talked about her relationship with the lead vampire and how the martial arts master ruined it.  The way she spewed out words was something I had never heard before.  It was astonishing.  Poorly worded, poorly spoken, just poor all around.

The most notable dialogue, however, came from the drug storyline.  When one of the mercenaries stumbled upon the sister of another mercenary bathing in a pond, she was aghast with embarrassment.  His response was to say something along the lines of “You are beautiful. You should bathe more often.”  It was an insane line in an insane movie that makes added to the insanity.



That’s all I have for Robo Vampire.  The movie was a crazy collection of nutty scenes and situations.  I’ve seen few movies like it.  I may have to dip into the filmography of Godfrey Ho again in a later Sunday “Bad” Movies week because, if this movie is any indicator, he has a lot of entertainment value in his movies.  They might not be good, but they seem like fun.

Alas, every good Sunday “Bad” Movies post must come to an end.  There’s no better place to end than with these final few thoughts.  I very rarely find a movie like Robo Vampire.  The fact that it felt like, and likely was, two separate movies crunched into the hour and a half runtime of one made it interesting.  The wacky dialogue and strange story kept it from ever getting stale.  It was a movie made in the worst possible way but magically came out the other side as a one of a kind experience.  You must see Robo Vampire at some point.  You cannot miss out on this opportunity.  It will change your life.
Something else that will change your life is this list of notes:

  • Robo Vampire was suggested to me by @DeusExCinema.
  • Other movies I’ve watched that heavily involve martial arts are Miami Connection, Samurai Cop, Gymkata, Infra-Man, Warriors of Virtue, Riki-Oh: The Story of Ricky, Mortal Kombat, Skin Trade, and Chop Kick Panda.
  • Movies I have covered that involve robots or mech suits are Starcrash, Robot Jox, Robot Wars, Metal Man, Steel, Transmorphers, and Batman and Robin.
  • I’ve also covered some vampire movies that include Blacula, and Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter.
  • Have you seen Robo Vampire?  How did you feel about it?  Are there any movies similar to it that you know?  You can answer these questions and more in the comments section below.
  • The comments section is a fantastic place to leave suggestions for movies to cover in later Sunday “Bad” Movies posts.  Drop the title in the comments and I’ll toss the movie into my list of potential movies.  You could always try me on Twitter as well.
  • I’ve been doing this thing recently where I put clips of the movies (not necessarily good clips, but what are you going to do?) on my snapchat story as I watch them.  You can find me on there under the username jurassicgriffin if you want to see clips of bad movies.
  • Next week’s movie is going to be Fant4stic.  That’s right.  The 2015 reboot of the Fantastic Four film franchise is going to be in the Sunday “Bad” Movies.  That should be fun.  I’ll see you next week with my post for Fant4stic.